~Winter Sleep~

To him, she always seemed nothing but annoyance. She always irritates him in all the possible ways. And all her actions seemed too stupid to him. She’s too weak, too stupid and useless. She always needs to be saved, and has the most pathetic ways of dealing with things.

In short, he despises her the most.

That if something happens to her, he will be the most joyful.

Then if that is the case…

Then what is this pain clawing inside his chest?

Then, why are these tears flowing down his eyes?

He hated her the most, he always wished her to disappear in his life. And now, now, that she’s gone…

Now that she wouldn’t be coming back…

Why does he feel so pained?

Why does he feel so powerless?

She didn’t mean anything to him, right?

He didn’t care as to what ever happens to her, right?

That as much as possible, he wanted her out of his sight, and if possible, even in his life.

Then, now, now that he has finally got what he wished for…

Why does he feel so regretful?
Why?

He shouldn’t be feeling this way.

He should be happy right?

He should be laughing, rejoicing over her lost, over her departure in his life.

She’s not coming back anymore, so he shouldn’t be feeling this pain. This ache. This hurt.

Why?

WHY? Why? Why?

She’s gone…

And she’s not coming back.

Never coming back.

Even if he calls her name.

Even if he searches for her.

Even if he begs her to stay.

She wont be coming back.

Never coming back…

He can never hear her irritating voice again, or see her annoying grin, or that smile of hers.

He can never touch her pale skin, or save her weak body from tripping. He can never hear her nonsense blabbing about how wonderful life is, or how delicate life is.

That life is something to be cherished and cared for.

Something you can only have once…

“If I can live another life over again, I’d be falling in love with the same person all over again.”

He wants to see her again.

He needs to hear her voice again.

He is desperate for her touch.

He needs to be with her.

He needs her…

But…

Now that she’s gone….

What worth life is to him?

Now that she isn’t coming back…