To those who are forgiven and forgotten, part 3

The moment he caught the sight of her from the open door of her room, all his emotions just gave way. He didnt knew when he started crying or why did he run towards her.

All he knew was that he suddenly had this overwhelming urge to pick her up from her bed and embrace her as tight as he could. But he cant.

He just cant.

With all the IV lines connected to her limp and bruised arms. With that breathing mask covering half of her face. With that painfully frail body lying on those white sheets. He just cant pick her up and embrace her anymore.

He watched in muted horror as her chest rise and fall in slow shaky rhythm, in tune with the ventilator machine by her side. All he could do was pick up her cold and skinny hand and kiss it. He couldnt even squeeze it tight because of the fear he might break her bones. He Broke down by her bed, sobbing her name continously, while begging for forgiveness.

"Oh Gawd, Gawd...I'm sorry, I"m sorry....I...I... Oh Gawd, I'm so sorry."

"I wish she could hear you." Her sister was there, watching him make a fool of himself. But then again, he was a fool. A fool for not believing about her illness. He buried his shameful face into her cold hand, hoping it could send her his message.

"...Babe?" A hoarse and dry voice silenced the two. All held their breaths as she weakly opened her eyes and smiled weakly at her 'fiance'.

"...I...Missed...you..." She tried to squeeze his hand, but she just cant. She smiled again, as she lift her other skinny arm to wave at her sister who was crying so hard.

"...I'm sorry...I made...you guys worried..." She tried to sit up, with the help of her weak arm, but instead, she began coughing. She lift off her breathing mask to cover her mouth, but her weak arm just doesnt have the strenght.

Blood spattered at her breathing mask, and as she continued coughing, her sister ran towards the Nurse's desk for help. Helpless and scared, grabbed his hankerchief and wiped the blood from her face and her mask. Then he embraced her tight.

"Please, dont push your self to hard." He kissed her forehead, and buried his face in her hair. her hair has lost all the life and luster it once had. All what's left was the dry strands and flakes from not being washed properly.

"Dont push yourself too much, baby, please..."

"Uhm...I'm sorry....but...can you..please let go off me?"

"Huh?"

"Do I know you?"

************

"Her condition has worsened as we had predicted. As her the condition progresses, her memories will continue to deteriorate, just what had jsut happened. Not only that, her system will one by one collapse, and once that happens, you'll know. Also, we'll need your consent as to whether we will be doing advance directives on her or leave her DNR."

He stood up quietly. He cant stand listening to this conversation anymore.